2022-10-05 - Sometimes A Run

Sometimes a run, sometimes a crawl

A few weeks ago my manicurist said to me, “I can’t imagine you getting angry.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

When I had my last day job, at a big multi-national PR agency serving a big multi-national client, there was almost never a moment when I was NOT angry. I wrote a whole essay about those years: Leaving the Bitch Behind.

Before the wonderful Multiplicity Magazine published that essay, I posted a draft excerpt of the beginning of that essay in my October 2019 newsletter/blog. Three years later, though, it’s not how I became a bitch that’s on my mind, it’s how it feels not to be one. Here is the end of the published essay:

Even though I peeled away my armor, my fiery core is still part of me. It gives me the courage to write, to tell vulnerable truths, to embrace the revived parts of myself.

I haven’t launched a world-changing technology or headed a global team in years, but the pure and peaceful satisfaction I feel now is sweeter than every masterful but miserable triumph that came before. When I found the strength to unbraid power, ambition, and anger everything became so clear.

I don’t need the bitch anymore. Perhaps I never did.

Our (almost?) post-pandemic world requires so much of us – stamina, resilience, sheer determination to cling to hope. I’m glad that I still have that fiery energy inside of me. I’m using it to create the capacity to pitch my first novel to literary agents. I never thought I’d need this much courage this badly, but I do. We all do.

As always, I’d love to hear from you via Instagram at lisa_poulson_writer.

Posted in

Join the conversation on Instagram!

About Lisa

Lisa Poulson is a voice in favor of the complex beauty of female power, the descendant of fiercely resilient Mormon pioneers and a woman who survived the death of her fiancé four months before their wedding. Lisa lives in San Francisco, where she spends her time absorbing and creating as much beauty as possible.

Reminder

You are reading of your own will and choice. How you read, act on or don’t act on what you read here is up to you.

Reassurance

While lisapoulson.com does use cookies, which helps us understand how you engage with our site and where you’re from, we do NOT save your personal information - like e-mail, name or address. And, if you join our mailing list or comment on a post, we will not share (or sell) your contact information. We are not responsible for commenters or other third parties here.

Clarity

Lisa Poulson is the legal copyright holder of this blog. Contents may not be used, reprinted, or published without written consent.

About Lisa

Lisa Poulson is a voice in favor of the complex beauty of female power, the descendant of fiercely resilient Mormon pioneers and a woman who survived the death of her fiancé four months before their wedding. Lisa lives in San Francisco, where she spends her time absorbing and creating as much beauty as possible.

Join the conversation on Instagram!

Reminder

You are reading of your own will and choice. How you read, act on or don’t act on what you read here is up to you.

Reassurance

While lisapoulson.com does use cookies, which helps us understand how you engage with our site and where you’re from, we do NOT save your personal information - like e-mail, name or address. And, if you join our mailing list or comment on a post, we will not share (or sell) your contact information. We are not responsible for commenters or other third parties here.

Clarity

Lisa Poulson is the legal copyright holder of this blog. Contents may not be used, reprinted, or published without written consent.